Short Story - Okay Chat

"Oooookay, chat! You all voted for Da'Kraa the Warlock to be able to bargain with his dark master for one casting of Thunder Step with the added ability to take two people with him instead of only one." Lord Sarcasmo, their DM, announced to the people watching them play on stream. "Da'Kraa will have to pay for this in a way specified by chat later, but for now... What do you do, Da'Kraa?"

"I grab both Sonya and Titus, since they're right next to me, and take them to Mangena. Sonya needs to stop bleeding out and Titus isn't far behind her. Our Paladin friend already used his Lay On Hands, Da'Kraa can't hold this many goblins by himself, and he doesn't want to be part of a T.P.K. anymore than I do!" Marcus flashed a grin at the camera.

Heart emojis flooded the chat. Sometimes they were accompanied by his username, EldritchDude, or shortened versions of it. So many people had a blatant or less obvious crush on him, he knew. It was a boost to his ego on the hard days, but it was also kind of uncomfortable. More like being seen as meat than as a person. At least it was going to a good cause with this D&D streaming thing Janey was doing these days.

Not that he minded being seen as meat sometimes, but all the time... It got weird. Still, it happened in his line of work.

"Gee, thanks, Da'Kraa. I see how it is, leaving me to fend for myself here," Janey quipped.

"Somebody needs to be the party sacrifice, Sir Thwapsalot," Marcus shot back. "It seems more your style than mine. And, out of character, you've got top initiative and the round is nearly over anyway."

She nodded. "Out of character, you have a point. In character, fine, I will forgive you. This time... And depending on what you have to pay for that trick!"

Lord Sarcasmo grinned at the camera. "Speaking of which... Hit us with what Da'Kraa will have to pay, chat! The top three suggestions get to be voted for! You have five minutes! As for my victims, I mean players... Take a drink, have a piss. We'll be back soon, gang!"

They sat patiently as Lord Sarcasmo, better known to them as Kevin, hit several buttons before declaring, "Okay, we're muted."

"Thank fuck," Jeremy, who played Sonya, ground out, rising. Distantly they heard him yelling something about needing to pee as he walked away from the microphone.

"I'm starving," Ariana, the player for Titus, muttered before also rising. She bent back to her mic. "I'm just gonna grab a hot pocket, bee arr bee."

Marcus took a sip of his tea, long cold now, and saw Janey doing the same with her water. Fin took a loud slurp of their energy drink, their computer chair swivelling wildly as they stared up at the ceiling. Their fingers were tapping and Marcus guessed they were already doing the math on how the next round would go. Fin usually had a grasp on things like that.

Kevin came up from his coffee for air. "Good game so far, gang."

Fin sighed. "I dunno if Mangena can get everyone fighting ready."

"It doesn't need to be everybody, just Sonya and Titus," Janey pointed out.

"Yeah, but we've still got..."

Marcus tuned them out, letting his brain go numb for a little while. They all had their mid-game break rituals. Ariana usually got a snack. Fin and Janey bickered about what needed to happen next. Kevin read chat. Jeremy went to the bathroom, usually because he needed to pee, but once he had broken enough to admit he was vaping cannabis in there because he was hurting. Marcus let him mind go quiet and just enjoy a moment where he didn't need to be on camera.

Kevin grunted. "Damn it. Marcus, you might want to check chat. I don't want to allow this if you're not down for it."

He groaned, but opened his eyes and checked the chat.

lady_sunshine: [Da'Kraa gotta kiss sonya]
givemeblood: [u always ask kissing LAME]
lady_sunshine: [its not lame! wahts yur big idea then blood? is it BLOOOOD??]
BigBigBoom: [safe guess blood always wants blood]
feralbugbear: [ya it always blud]
givemeblood: [dakraa does stabby to Mangena. EEE EEE EEE EEE]
lady_sunshine: [so ya its blood]
givemeblood: [ya its blood]
feralbugbear: [oc it blud it always blud]
i_am_chat: [no guys wut? LAME suggestions]
lady_sunshine: [don't be ROOD chat]
BigBigBoom: [ugh this guy again]
feralbugbear: [didn u get band caht]
BigBigBoom: [mine is Da'Kraa has to get naked after battle and bathe in the blood of the goblins]
i_am_chat: [i appealed they let me back]
BigBigBoom: [noooo why would you do this sarcasmo]
LordSarcasmo: [Eldritch said give them another shot]
BigBigBoom: [noooo why would you do this eldritch]
givemeblood: [i could live with this]
feralbugbear: [this cud b funy]
lady_sunshine: [oc you can]
i_am_chat: [NO NO NO LISTEN i got it this time!]
givemeblood: [obvious oc i can]
lady_sunshine: [WHAT chat? what is this suggestion you're so sure about?]
BigBigBoom: [oh here we go again]
i_am_chat: [Marcus has to take his shirt off]
feralbugbear: [this y i thot yur band]
givemeblood: [lame suggest no blood gimme blood]
lady_sunshine: [lol blood. but i dunnooooo, that sounds....... interesting]
BigBigBoom: [you just wanna see his nips again lady]
feralbugbear: [dont we al? y not?]

Marcus rubbed his temple. "Well. Listen, I don't want to stab Mangena. Or... anything else, but I can agree to taking my shirt off. I assume that's what you're asking about."

Kevin nodded, typing. "Yeah, it was. Welcome back, Ariana. Got food?"

"Haw poh-et," she answered around a bite of food in her mouth.

He grinned, still typing. "Don't burn yourself. Jeremy should be back any- Never mind, hi Jeremy. Good piss?"

Jeremy slid into his chair, his eyes delicately pink. "Wassup? And yeah, as a piss goes."

"Alright, I've almost got the poll set up." He typed a little more, read over what he had, and then straightened. "Are we ready to get back into it?"

"Are we ever?" Marcus asked, resigned to losing his shirt again. "Alright, let's go."

Maybe chat would at least let him keep his trousers on this time...

With game over for the week, Marcus stepped out of the office with his shirt flung over his shoulder.

[I let you keep your trousers on this week,] i_am_chat said in his head. [Aren’t I benevolent?]

He snorted. “Oh yes, very benevolent, Master. Feral remembering that you got banned had nothing to do with that decision, I’m sure.”

He could heard Chat smirking in its response. [Oh, very clever my little pet. And just where were you and your friends before you agreed to my terms, again?]

Marcus said nothing. He’d been two weeks from eviction for failure to pay rent. Janey had been couch surfing for three months. Kevin had still been living in his parent’s basement. Poor Jeremy had still been in the hospital. He didn’t even like to think about what Ariana and Fin had been going through.

And Chat had come into his stream with an offer that had sounded too good to refuse: “I can make it all better. All it costs is a little debasement on your part… and your soul.”

It hadn’t sounded much different from working retail. In most ways, it really wasn’t different.

“Say, Chat?” he asked, grabbing the post-game sandwich he’d made earlier out of his fridge. “Is there any real difference between making a deal with you or something like you and working retail?”

Chat didn’t answer as he took the first three bites of the sandwich. Finally, it responded, sounding for the first time almost uncertain and kind of uncomfortable. Marcus, meanwhile, only shook his head, unsurprised.

“For the most part no… We’re just more honest about what’s happening, how, and why. Also, we pay better.”

“Of course you do.” He took another bite of his sandwich.

“Of… Of course we do...”