Okay, I Have News

Hi, I'm sorry this post is late. I would like to claim I planned it this way but in reality, I fully forgot to post last night. However, I was going to have news this morning anyway, so I'm glad I'm writing it now.

Nerve pain in my left wrist has been bad bad this week. In a way it's almost a good thing, I can tell some stuff in there has repaired because I seem to have muscles growing again instead of in a constant state of atrophy. Yeah, when I say nerve damage, I am not joking. Something big repaired and I now have most of the muscles in my left hand again. We're getting there, anyway, I still don't have most of my palm or basically anything around the surgery scar. Baby steps.

However, Cymbalta has been slowly farting off into not working for the past three weeks now, so this has been distictively Not A Great Time for me. I had talked to my psychiatrist about it maybe happening during our last appoinment, but I didn't have enough data yet to be sure. I talked to him today and we're going to try upping my dose. I'm still on baby doses for it, going to 20 mg twice a day instead of 20 mg once a day where I started.

I really hope this helps. I wrote exactly once this week and regretted that it took me 1300 words to find the end of that chapter. I am still in pain from it. My psychiarist called me before my morning meds though, so I will start the new regimen in about half an hour.

I'm so tired of hurting like this. I really hate it. Did I mention I hate being in pain forever? I hate it. I am used to it, I am trying to accept it because it's not going away, but absolutely no part of me wants to. I just don't have a choice.

Sigh.

I will have something for you this Thursday. I'm going to upload it right after this posts. I have hated missing so much lately, but I have had to face some harsh lessons about not giving myself permission to rest. Sooner or later, even I will learn not to let myself collapse repeatedly.

Apparently.